Home Abiding My name is Amber Barr let me tell you my story…

My name is Amber Barr let me tell you my story…



My name is Amber Barr let me tell you my story…

I grew up in a Christian home and I was very blessed and loved my whole life. I became a pastor’s kid when I was 8 years old and have been one ever since. I share this because being a PK does NOT make me perfect. In my late teen years I thought I had it all figured out with God and with life and for some reason I thought I was invincible. I was this skinny little girl and I thought nothing could get me. I did accept Jesus as My savior but I don’t know when I exactly did. Well I went through seasons where I was on fire for the Lord and then I would feel nothing; back and forth. I was abiding and it was so religious, in truth I was only doing it to have something to talk about at our meetings on Sunday mornings with my family. I was not enjoying my relationship with God at all because I thought I had my own relationship with God but I was living through my parent’s relationship with Him. So I was hiding all this and I started listening to secular music and watching things on TV that weren’t good for me and then I eventually got into the wrong crowd. I was living a double life for a couple years I think and it was off and on. I would get convicted and repent then turn around and then not change who I was talking to or what I was listening to or watching and get pulled right back in. I literally lived a lie and thought it was ok. Because I fell into a trap of the enemy I was filled with shame at the things I had done and because I was ashamed I fell into this trap of the enemy over and over again, falling into my sins over and over again. I listened to this lie that I couldn’t get back to the place I had been with God. I knew that this was a lie, but I didn’t care I just wanted to have an excuse to do what I wanted. So I listened to it and let the shame control me. My heart was hardened to feeling what I was doing to my family even to myself. I knew this life(lie) was leading me to hell and I even told my friends that that we were going to hell and nobody cared. I did care but didn’t change it because I didn’t have a fear of God! For about 4 months I didn’t talk to God because I knew I was so wrong. When I would let myself feel the pain that I was causing to others I would be so overwhelmed. I had my mind so much on what I thought I wanted but in truth I was just following my emotions and letting them run my life which led to a life of hell and confusion because I would change what I wanted at a moments notice. The opportunity came for me to go to a 6 month internship at the house of prayer in Kansas City, Mo and I knew I needed something to help me get my own relationship with God and a place to start over. So God provided for me to go at the last minute. I had always wanted to do something like this. So I went through these 6 months and had so many encounters with the Lord. The most important thing, to me, that happened was that I met the Man Jesus and fell in love with Him. I renewed my relationship with Him and I made Him Lord of my life and our relationship became based on love and not on works. I now do things for Jesus because I love Him, not to make Him love me. His love just overwhelms me and I am so thankful I had the opportunity to spend those 6 months with Him and I am thankful for this relationship I have with Him and am excited with what He is going to do through me!

If you’d like to invite the Lord Jesus Christ into your life as I did read more.

Image courtesy of gerasimov_foto_174/shutterstock.com


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