My name is Amber Barr let me tell you my story…
I grew up in a Christian home and I was very blessed and loved my whole life. I became a pastor’s kid when I was 8 years old and have been one ever since. I share this because being a PK does NOT make me perfect. In my late teen years I thought I had it all figured out with God and with life and for some reason I thought I was invincible. I was this skinny little girl and I thought nothing could get me. I did accept Jesus as My savior but I don’t know when I exactly did. Well I went through seasons where I was on fire for the Lord and then I would feel nothing; back and forth. I was abiding and it was so religious, in truth I was only doing it to have something to talk about at our meetings on Sunday mornings with my family. I was not enjoying my relationship with God at all because I thought I had my own relationship with God but I was living through my parent’s relationship with Him. So I was hiding all this and I started listening to secular music and watching things on TV that weren’t good for me and then I eventually got into the wrong crowd. I was living a double life for a couple years I think and it was off and on. I would get convicted and repent then turn around and then not change who I was talking to or what I was listening to or watching and get pulled right back in. I literally lived a lie and thought it was ok. Because I fell into a trap of the enemy I was filled with shame at the things I had done and because I was ashamed I fell into this trap of the enemy over and over again, falling into my sins over and over again. I listened to this lie that I couldn’t get back to the place I had been with God. I knew that this was a lie, but I didn’t care I just wanted to have an excuse to do what I wanted. So I listened to it and let the shame control me. My heart was hardened to feeling what I was doing to my family even to myself. I knew this life(lie) was leading me to hell and I even told my friends that that we were going to hell and nobody cared. I did care but didn’t change it because I didn’t have a fear of God! For about 4 months I didn’t talk to God because I knew I was so wrong. When I would let myself feel the pain that I was causing to others I would be so overwhelmed. I had my mind so much on what I thought I wanted but in truth I was just following my emotions and letting them run my life which led to a life of hell and confusion because I would change what I wanted at a moments notice. The opportunity came for me to go to a 6 month internship at the house of prayer in Kansas City, Mo and I knew I needed something to help me get my own relationship with God and a place to start over. So God provided for me to go at the last minute. I had always wanted to do something like this. So I went through these 6 months and had so many encounters with the Lord. The most important thing, to me, that happened was that I met the Man Jesus and fell in love with Him. I renewed my relationship with Him and I made Him Lord of my life and our relationship became based on love and not on works. I now do things for Jesus because I love Him, not to make Him love me. His love just overwhelms me and I am so thankful I had the opportunity to spend those 6 months with Him and I am thankful for this relationship I have with Him and am excited with what He is going to do through me!
If you’d like to invite the Lord Jesus Christ into your life as I did read more.