A young girl, 17-years-old, had so many things going for her. Alexandra Valoras had just come back from a family ski vacation, was a straight-A student, class officer, and robotics expert, having just won regionals with her robotics team. On the outside, Alexandra seemed happy and full of life. Nobody knew the internal struggle that she was having, fighting the demons of self-hate all alone. In the end, she ended her life, committing suicide. This generation has been sold lies that they must reach a certain “status” to be successful. The worldly people whom young people idolize have told a lie that “they are a God” but, every person is hopeless outside of the only true God! Many are living their lives unloved, separate from their heavenly Father who loves them unconditionally! That is the lie the enemy wants to tell you that you are all alone and there is no hope, but God has a plan for your life! He loves you!
Alexandra would write in her journal her feelings of despair which no one else saw until she was gone. She wrote terrible things about herself, and she never portrayed that she was feeling this way to anyone, except to her journal. One page read, “I’m so lost. I’m so hopeless. I’m so worthless. I’m so lazy. I’m so unmotivated.” This is the complete opposite of what her loved ones knew of her to be! Her mother Alysia said, “Alexandra, she was such a happy girl, so motivated and so just full of life.”
Alysia and Dean, parents of Alexandra, expressed that they never heard the things from their daughter that were written in her journal. They had taken her to a concert, and she had seemed to love it, but as they later read in a journal entry, she wrote, “I hated it. I just wanted to be alone.” In the journals that were found by the body of this young girl, there were over 200 pages of self-hate expressed by her. “You are broken. You are a burden. You are lazy. You are a failure.”
“The thief (devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 ESV
The enemy does not want anyone to live in the light of Jesus! He wants us to be hopeless and to not have life, which is why we need to live in the light of Jesus, not just for ourselves but also for the next generation! This is how we have hope and can give hope to our children, the next generation, by living in the light with Jesus as the Lord of our lives.
Maybe you are feeling like ending your life, you think no one can understand how you are feeling, or feel your pain, but Jesus He can empathize with everything that we face! He came onto the earth to go through every human feeling and experience, to the point of death, yet He did not sin so that we can be saved through His sacrifice. You can make that decision today to make Jesus the Lord of your life and come into the light, receiving hope, that you do have a purpose and a reason to live! You can read our stories of how we came to know Jesus at Meet My Father. Don’t let another moment pass of being tormented, accept Jesus and be set free today!
We are thankful to Alysia and Dean for sharing their daughter’s story in hopes that they can help save the lives of others. As reported by CBS, we hear their story and their pain. Just weeks after a family ski vacation, this 17-year-old high school junior, straight-A student, class officer, and robotics whiz made her bed, tidied her room, and then walked to a highway overpass in Grafton, Massachusetts. She jumped.
Her father, Dean Valoras, described finding her: “I leaned over the embankment and looked down and I saw her. I was just hoping for warmth. But there was no warmth; there was none. And all the cars kept driving by. And my daughter is on the side of the road. Nobody saw this. And she’s cold.”
Nearby, Dean and Alysia found two journals in their daughter’s belongings. Her final entry, written just hours before her death, while listening to a playlist she entitled “Good-bye”: Flipping through pages, Dean showed correspondent Jim Axelrod some of the entries: “October 20, I’m so lost, I’m so hopeless, I am so worthless.”
There were phrases and words such as “I’m not good enough; I’m worthless.” “These things that we never heard,” Alysia said. “There was just so much joy in everything she did, and it doesn’t match what was in the journal.”
Two-hundred pages of self-loathing and despair, written in Alexandra’s own hand.
You are broken.
You are a burden.
‘You are lazy.
You are a failure.
Alexandra was a highly-motivated achiever, “but that’s how she felt inside,” said her mom.
Such a sharp and confusing contrast to who they thought was their happy oldest child, strumming her way through adolescence, and still talking to her parents. “It doesn’t seem possible,” Alysia said. “But it’s what reality was because it’s written right there.”
With teen suicide at a 40-year high for young women Alexandra’s age, and now the second-leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds of both sexes, this disconnect is what most haunts Dean and Alysia Valoras. The girl who seemed to love it when her parents took her to a concert by the Scottish rock group Biffy Clyro, went home and wrote: “I hated it. I just wanted to be alone.”
We are grateful to Dean and Alysia for sharing this story to bring to the light what was done in the darkness. With technology being prominent in our culture today many people think, that value is found in how many friends and likes they have on their social media account. It is all a ploy to have us addicted to this technology! A digital connection is not a true relationship. We need inter-personal communication in our lives with someone who truly loves and cares for us, while at the same time loving and caring for that person. And if we love someone, we must listen to them! Part of healing you is hearing you, so you need to be heard to be healed, but don’t give up if those you are talking to are having a hard time connecting. We need to remember that people will fall short, but God will always be there for you, ready to listen to you and He will always respond to your cries! He is not far from you, and He has a plan for your life!
“And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us…” Acts 17:26-27 ESV
We are here for you too! You can connect with us at Vine Fellowship Network and become a part of our family. We are not called to be alone! If you want to find out how to be the Church versus just going to the Church, we can help you, contact us HERE to find out more. Also, you can write to us at Friends@VFNKB.com. There is hope in Jesus Christ, and we speak hope, a future, and life over you in Jesus name! Greg and John shared in this segment.