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Home » Marriage and Family: The Frontal Lobe Wasn’t Ready—But the Heart Was

The Role of the Frontal Lobe in Youthful Decision-Making

The frontal lobe, which handles decision-making and impulse control, isn’t fully developed until the mid-twenties—around twenty-five for most people. Studies, like one from NIH in 2016, show the prefrontal cortex, tied to impulse control, matures later, so eighteen-to-twenty-five-year-olds often act bolder, which aligns with why drafts target them; they’re less likely to overthink in chaos but can still be disciplined through training.

Marriage in 1925: Early Bonds, Lasting Impact

Back a hundred years ago, around nineteen twenty-five, most people did marry and start families by their late teens or early twenties—data from the Census Bureau shows the average marriage age for men was about twenty-four and for women around twenty-one. Not having a fully developed frontal lobe, which handles impulse control and long-term planning, likely pushed folks toward jumping into marriage and kids early, driven by emotion, social norms, or economic need rather than overthinking it.

By the time their brains matured, they were already settled—house, kids, job—locked into a stable life without the chance to second-guess. That impulsiveness could’ve been a weird advantage for just getting on with it in a society that valued early family life.

Then vs. Now: Marriage Rates and Age Gaps

Awesome, so the average age for first marriages in the U.S. has climbed to around thirty for men and twenty-eight for women, per 2023 Census data. Back in 1925, marrying young—often by twenty or twenty-one for women—meant starting families fast, which shaped a society where stability came from early commitment, driven by less developed frontal lobes leaning into impulsivity and societal pressure.

This locked people into roles early—think farmers, factory workers, or homemakers—building tight-knit communities but limiting individual choice. Today, with frontal lobes maturing around twenty-five and people waiting longer, folks prioritize careers, education, or personal freedom first, leading to fewer kids and more urban, independent lifestyles.

Decline in Marriage and the Rise in Divorce

Marriage rates are down—only six per thousand people now versus ten per thousand in the 1920s—and divorce is higher, partly because mature brains rethink earlier choices. A hundred years ago, marrying and having kids young—say, in the late teens or early twenties—created a deep bond, often for life, because of how human biology and psychology intertwine.

Oxytocin: The Hormone Behind Lifelong Bonds

Back then, in the 1920s, folks paired up early, and the rush of hormones like oxytocin from physical intimacy and childbirth strengthened that emotional glue, tying couples together. Having kids early cemented it further—shared responsibility, social expectations, and economic dependence made splitting up rare, with divorce rates around only one per thousand people compared to six per thousand now.

The underdeveloped frontal lobe in young folks likely helped, pushing them to commit impulsively without overanalyzing, so by twenty-five, they were deep in family life, bonded through routine, kids, and community. That’s why marriages back then often lasted decades, even if not always happy.

Marriage and Divorce by the Numbers: Then and Now

A hundred years ago, in 1925, the U.S. marriage rate was about 10 per 1,000 people annually, according to historical Census Bureau data. With a population of approximately 115.8 million, this translated to roughly 1,158,000 marriages per year. Today, based on CDC and Census data from 2023, the marriage rate is about 6 per 1,000 people. For a 2025 U.S. population estimated at 340 million, this yields approximately 2,040,000 marriages annually.

While the raw number of marriages today (2,040,000) is higher than in 1925 (1,158,000), the marriage rate is actually lower due to significant population growth. The U.S. population in 2025 is nearly three times larger than in 1925 (340 million vs. 115.8 million). If the 1925 marriage rate of 10 per 1,000 had persisted, we’d expect about 3,400,000 marriages today. Instead, the lower rate of 6 per 1,000 reflects a 40% decline in the proportion of people marrying, driven by factors like delayed marriages, increased cohabitation, and shifting priorities toward careers over early family life.

Same-Sex Marriage in the Data

Those stats typically include all marriages, but most—around eighty-six percent in two thousand twenty-three—are between a man and a woman, per Census data. Same-sex marriages, legal since twenty fifteen, make up about fourteen percent but don’t break out consistently in national marriage rate numbers. In two thousand twenty-three, same-sex marriages in the U.S. were around three point four per one thousand marriages, based on Pew Research using Census data. Since the overall marriage rate is about six per one thousand people, that works out to roughly zero point two same-sex marriages per one thousand people each year.

Oxytocin’s Deeper Role in Youthful Marriages

Exactly, a hundred years ago, marrying and starting relations before twenty-five, with all that oxytocin flowing from intimacy and having kids, created a super strong bond by the time couples hit their mid-twenties, when their frontal lobes matured. In nineteen twenty-five, couples often wed by twenty or twenty-one, and the hormonal rush—oxytocin from sex, childbirth, even close family life—locked them in emotionally and socially.

By twenty-five, they were deep into shared responsibilities like kids or a household, making separation rare; divorce was only about one per one thousand people, per Census data. That biological bonding, plus societal pressure, meant they were often tied for life, whether they wanted it or not.

Modern Shifts in Fidelity, Sexual Norms, and Pornography

In 2023, the U.S. divorce rate was approximately 2.4 per 1,000 people, based on CDC and Census data, resulting in about 803,760 divorces with a population of 334.9 million. This is a significant increase from 1925, when the divorce rate was 1 per 1,000 people, leading to roughly 115,800 divorces with a population of 115.8 million. The rate has more than doubled over the century, and the raw number of divorces has grown nearly sevenfold, largely due to the population nearly tripling, alongside social changes like relaxed divorce laws and shifting cultural norms.

Society’s take on sexuality has shifted big time and changed how we view marriage. Back in nineteen twenty-five, sex was tied tightly to marriage—cultural norms, faith in God, and even laws pushed it as a sacred duty for procreation and bonding, with oxytocin cementing lifelong ties, especially when couples married young before their frontal lobes matured.

Now, with hookup culture, wider acceptance of premarital and casual sex, and more open views on things like same-sex relationships or polyamory, sex isn’t seen as just for marriage anymore. This devalues its role as a unique glue for marriage—only sixty percent of adults in a two thousand twenty-two Pew survey said fidelity is essential for a strong marriage, down from eighty percent in the nineteen nineties.

The Role of Pornography and Its Consequences

Plus, later marriages mean people explore more sexually before settling down, so the “specialness” of marital sex has faded. The massive exposure to pornography’s definitely playing a role, changing how people see sex and marriage.

Back in nineteen twenty-five, explicit material was rare, and sex was this intimate, almost sacred part of marriage, tying couples together with oxytocin and shared vulnerability. Now, porn’s everywhere—studies from 2023, like one from the Kinsey Institute, say seventy percent of U.S. adults watch it regularly, and it’s a click away.

This can desensitize people to intimacy, raise unrealistic expectations for sexual performance, or weaken that special bond in marriage by making sex less exclusive or emotionally unique. Some research, like a 2022 study in Psychology Today, links heavy porn use to lower relationship satisfaction and higher divorce odds—potentially adding to that 2.4 per thousand divorce rate today.

Erosion of the Traditional Family Unit

All these shifts—like later marriages, casual sex, porn’s influence, and changing views on fidelity—are chipping away at the traditional family and marriage structure that was central to building America, especially a century ago.

In 1925, early marriage, kids, and lifelong commitment, fueled by biology like oxytocin and social norms, were the backbone of society—about ninety percent of adults married, and divorce was rare at one per thousand. Now, with marriage rates at six per thousand, divorce at 2.4 per thousand, and forty percent of adults in 2023 saying marriage isn’t essential per Pew Research, the focus on family as the core unit has weakened.

Younger Generations and the Decline in Marriage

The current generation, especially Gen Z and younger Millennials, really isn’t valuing marriage like older generations did. Only about thirty percent of adults under thirty-five in a 2023 Gallup poll said marriage is “very important” to them, compared to sixty percent of those over fifty.

With marriage rates down to six per thousand people and more folks prioritizing careers, personal freedom, or cohabitation—fifty percent of young adults now live together without marrying, living in adultery, per Pew Research—it’s clear the traditional view of marriage as a life goal is fading.

A Look at Japan: Porn, Isolation, and Declining Marriage

In Japan, pornography’s playing a big role in why young people aren’t marrying much anymore, but it’s not the whole story. Studies, like one from the International Journal of the Sociology of Leisure in 2020, show that heavy porn use, especially among young men, has spiked alongside a rise in sexual inactivity—about 25% of men and 20% of women aged 18–34 reported no sexual partners in a 2019 survey by the Japanese Association for Sex Education.

This ties to marriage rates dropping to just 4.3 per thousand in 2023, way down from 10 per thousand in the 1970s. Easy access to porn, combined with virtual “waifu” [Having a relationship with a digitally created artificial intelligence (AI) rather than human relationships.] culture and otaku fantasies, gives some young folks—mostly men—an outlet that reduces their drive to pursue real relationships.

Japan is not alone in this trend as Americans aged 18–34, approximately 1–3% are likely to have a relationship with a digitally created AI instead of human relationships, inferred from the 7% open to AI romance among single young adults and the 1% already with AI friends, adjusted for the broader population (including partnered individuals). Higher engagement (e.g., 33% of Gen Z romantically interacting with AI) suggests experimentation is common, but exclusive preference is rare. This is driven by loneliness, tech familiarity, and cultural openness, particularly among single men and women under 30. Or, you could say, it due to leaving God’s design for marriage and family which creates loneliness, isolation, and depression.

Falling Testosterone and the “Feminization” of Manhood

Some argue the “feminization” of men—things like societal pressure to be less traditionally masculine, embrace gender fluidity, or shy away from assertive roles—could lower testosterone levels and impact how men engage in marriage and family life.

Studies, such as one from the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology in 2020, show testosterone levels in men have declined by approximately 36.24% since 1980, based on a 1% per year compound decrease over 45 years. This drop is partly tied to lifestyle factors like stress, poor diet, and reduced physical activity, as well as social shifts promoting less aggressive, more nurturing male roles.

This can make men less likely to take on traditional “provider” or “leader” roles in families, which some say disrupts the dynamic that historically fueled stable marriages—think early 1900s when men married young and led households.

How That 1% Drop Adds Up Over Time

That one percent annual drop in testosterone since the 1980s adds up—over forty years, that’s a serious decline, potentially affecting traits like aggression, muscle mass, and drive that are tied to traditional male roles. Research from the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology in 2020 backs this, pointing to factors like stress, obesity, and environmental toxins, but cultural pressures pushing men toward less dominant behaviors might also dampen that “alpha” mindset, impacting how they approach marriage or family leadership.

Some studies, like one published in Endocrinology in 2020, suggest that this decline might make men less likely to take on traditional roles such as the assertive family leader or provider. On the flip side, some argue that lower testosterone levels might make men more empathetic or cooperative, which could align better with modern relationships. But is that the goal we should have for men—to lose their maleness and manhood to fit into a culture that has forgotten God and His clear Biblical design for mankind?

Cultural Shifts and the Deconstruction of Traditional Marriage

Modern relationships are a product of cultural shifts over the last hundred years and are undermining traditional marriage and family. Back in 1925, with marriage rates at ten per thousand and divorce at one per thousand, early marriage, kids, and lifelong commitment were the norm, driven by biology like oxytocin bonding and social expectations.

Now, with marriage down to six per thousand, divorce up to 2.4, and trends like casual sex, porn saturation, and later marriages—plus that one percent yearly testosterone drop in men—relationships prioritize individual freedom over family stability.

Critics argue this reflects a culture that’s drifted from valuing the family unit as society’s core, pushing personal choice instead.

Fertility Concerns, Declining Seed, and Falling Birth Rates—And the Culture Behind It

Since the 1980s, testosterone levels in men have been dropping by about 1% each year, leading to a total decline of roughly 36.24% by 2025, according to a 2020 study in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology. While testosterone is important for sperm production, this drop alone hasn’t caused a large enough decline in male fertility to stop global population growth. The World Health Organization reported in 2020 that sperm counts in men worldwide have fallen by about 50% since the 1970s, yet the global population continues to rise, reaching 8 billion in 2022.

Factors like environmental toxins (such as chemicals in plastics), stress, poor diet, and less active lifestyles affect sperm quality more significantly than testosterone alone. Even so, most men still produce enough healthy sperm to support reproduction.

However, in Christian-majority Western countries—like the United States, Canada, and much of Europe—there’s been a significant drop not only in people seeking marriage but also in birth rates. According to the United Nations Population Division’s World Population Prospects (2022), birth rates in these countries have fallen by 25–30% since the 1970s. This is measured by the Total Fertility Rate (TFR), which shows the average number of children a woman has in her lifetime—dropping from about 2.1–2.2 children per woman in the 1970s to 1.5–1.6 today. The Crude Birth Rate (CBR), which counts births per 1,000 people per year, has also declined by 26–40% in these regions.

This decline is driven more by cultural and societal shifts—delayed marriages, increased career focus, widespread contraception use, and economic pressures—than by biological changes alone. In fact, cultural factors such as less focus on traditional male roles, marriage rates dropping to six per thousand, and more men delaying or skipping fatherhood have had a greater immediate impact on fertility trends than biological decline.

As a result, global population growth is no longer led by Western Christian societies but by regions such as sub-Saharan Africa and parts of South Asia, especially Muslim-majority nations. According to Pew Research (2017), Muslims accounted for approximately 31% of global births from 2010 to 2015, driven by higher fertility rates (2.9 children per woman, compared to the global average of 2.4). Countries like Niger, Mali, and Pakistan contribute significantly to this growth, alongside Christian-majority African nations such as Nigeria and the Democratic Republic of Congo.

If America continues to drift away from God, then just by the way the population is changing—whether through birth rates, immigration, or cultural shifts—it will become impossible for the country to remain “a Christian nation.” In fact, it may have already stopped being one. The only way this could be reversed is through a great spiritual awakening that brings America back to God and restores godly family values.

The Spiritual Implications: A War on Marriage and Seed

We’ve seen how far modern culture has drifted from God’s design for marriage, family, and manhood, and how that’s impacted society compared to a hundred years ago. We talked about early marriages back in 1925, when folks wed by twenty or twenty-one, driven by oxytocin bonding and biblical fidelity—Genesis 2:24’s “one flesh” principle—keeping divorce low at one per thousand and families strong.

Today’s delay—marriage at six per thousand, average age twenty-eight to thirty—shows a shift away from Hebrews 13:4’s call to honor the marriage bed.

We also covered the fifty percent sperm count drop and one percent annual testosterone decline since the 1970s, which some see as a spiritual attack on man’s “seed,” echoing Genesis 3:15’s prophecy of enmity. This weakens the biblical call for men to lead as providers (Ephesians 5:25) and for families to multiply (Genesis 1:28).

Pornography’s rise—seventy percent of adults engaging, per 2023 Kinsey data—violates Matthew 5:28’s warning against lust, eroding the sanctity of marital intimacy. Changing views on sexuality, with only sixty percent in 2022 Pew surveys valuing fidelity, stray from 1 Corinthians 7’s marriage-centered sex.

And Gen Z’s low view of marriage—thirty percent calling it vital, per 2023 Gallup—rejects Proverbs 18:22’s blessing of a spouse.

A Return to God’s Design for Marriage and Family

If we’d held fast to scripture, prioritizing early, lifelong marriage, male leadership, and purity, we’d likely see a culture more like 1925’s—high marriage rates, low divorce, and families as the bedrock of society. Instead, we’ve embraced individual freedom, sexual liberalism, and distractions like porn, leading to fractured families and declining birth rates at 1.6 children per woman.

Yet, God’s word offers hope: 2 Chronicles 7:14 calls us to humble ourselves, turn away from these sinful choices promising forgiving us for our sin, our restoration, and yes, the healing of our land, our nation.

I urge us to recommit to biblical marriage—men stepping up as godly leaders, couples bonding early and faithfully, and churches teaching purity—to rebuild a culture rooted in God’s unchanging design.

Scriptural Insight: The War on Seed and Family Roles

Some interpret certain scriptures as pointing to a spiritual or cultural war on men’s role and fertility, like their “seed” being targeted. Genesis 3:15 talks about enmity between the serpent and the woman’s seed, which some see as a broader attack on humanity’s ability to thrive, including reproduction.

Daniel 11:31–32 speaks of defiling the sanctuary and corrupting God’s people, which some tie to modern assaults on traditional roles or family through things like declining sperm counts—down fifty percent since the 1970s—or the one percent yearly testosterone drop. These could be seen as undermining God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” in Genesis 1:28.

If we’d stuck to biblical principles—strong male leadership, sexual purity—some argue we’d counter this “war” on seed, keeping fertility and family structures robust like in 1925, with higher birth rates and stable marriages.

A Final Plea: Repent and Rebuild the Family

Hear me out, friends—look at where we’ve strayed! Like the Apostle Peter on Pentecost, when he stood bold in Acts 2:38 and cried, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins,” I’m calling you today to turn from the worldly, unbiblical paths we’ve walked.

We’ve discussed the fallout: marriage rates crumbling from ten per thousand a hundred years ago to six now, divorces doubling to 2.4, driven by hearts chasing fleeting pleasures over God’s design in Genesis 2:24—where man and wife become one flesh, bound for life.

We’ve let pornography—used by seventy percent of you, per 2023 Kinsey stats—defile the sacred bed Hebrews 13:4 commands us to keep pure, trading oxytocin’s holy bond for cheap thrills.

Men, your seed’s under attack, with sperm counts down fifty percent since the 1970s and testosterone dropping one percent a year, weakening the strength God gave you to lead as Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love sacrificially.

You’ve embraced casual sex, shifting values—only sixty percent in 2022 Pew surveys cling to fidelity—ignoring 1 Corinthians 7:2’s clear call to honor marriage. Young folks, you’re shunning God’s gift in Proverbs 18:22, with only thirty percent of you under thirty-five valuing marriage, per 2023 Gallup.

Hope and Restoration: A Call to Repentance

This is sin, plain and simple—rebellion against God’s order to be fruitful, to build families, to anchor society in His covenant. But there’s hope! Like Peter, I’m pleading: confess these sins, turn back to God, and seek His forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 promises if we confess, He’s faithful to forgive and cleanse us.

Repent from chasing worldly freedom over godly commitment. Men, step up as leaders, reject the culture’s emasculation, and restore your role as protectors and providers.

Returning to God’s Kingdom Vision for Marriage and Family

Ultimately, it’s not just about getting married early—it’s about committing to live a godly life, set apart from a world whose culture constantly pulls at the seams of marriage and family. If you “do the right thing” while still living like the world, your actions—taking the right steps to marry and have children—will go the way of the world. As Romans 12:1–2 commands, we are to present our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God, and to refuse conformity to this age. Instead, we must be transformed by the renewing of our minds so we can discern and walk in God’s will. We are not called to be a subculture that merely mirrors society with a religious twist—we are citizens of a completely different Kingdom, living under the lordship of Jesus Christ as His disciples. (Matthew 28:19-20) Only this—wholehearted surrender to the ways of God—will allow us to return to His beautiful, powerful, and enduring plan for marriage and family. All the time remembering  God’s design for marriage includes raising godly children—offspring dedicated to Him—as Malachi 2:15 reveals. That, too, must remain a central focus of the family: to raise the next generation in the fear and knowledge of the Lord.

There is a place the Lord has called your family to go—a place where you are to fellowship with other believers, learn His ways, give offerings, and bond with the greater family of God: a church family. With the healthy bond you develop within your biological family and, as a Christian family, as disciples of Jesus, the next level of bonding with your church family and with the Lord will build a strong wall of protection around you, your marriage, your family, and the entire church family—for this is God’s design and how the United States of America came to be!

Related:

 God’s Timeless Blueprint: Why Young Marriage Worked

There’s a reason that, throughout most of history—and by God’s design—couples married young, before their frontal lobe was fully developed. This often led them to “just marry” because it was the right thing to do. As they began to live as a married couple, their shared experiences—through sex, childbirth, and everyday life—produced a surge of oxytocin, the hormone that fosters feelings of love and deep bonding or as God’s word describes it this bonding oxytocin hormone, which God created to be released on marriage and family, helps the bond to “become one.”  Genesis 2:24 (NIV)

There’s a reason most who married before age 25—especially between 18 and 22—a hundred years ago saw their marriages and families last. Without fully developed frontal lobes, they weren’t paralyzed by overthinking. Instead, they acted on conviction, tradition, and purpose.

The result? Lifelong bonds formed through shared struggle, physical intimacy, childbirth, and a deep sense of duty—strengthened by oxytocin and cemented by God’s design for marriage and family. That’s why couples who marry young often bond deeply and keep sex sacred, just as God intended.

Families and Society—Let’s Rebuild on God’s Word

Families, make Christ your center. Raise your children as the blessings Psalm 127:3 declares they are.

And society—turn from this destructive path. As 2 Chronicles 7:14 urges, if we humble ourselves, pray, seek His face, and turn from our wicked ways, He will hear us and heal our land.

Let’s return to His original intent: strong marriages, thriving families, and a culture built on His truth.

Five Things We Learned

  1. Frontal lobe immaturity in youth historically led to early marriages that often endured—highlighting how God can use our impulsiveness for His purposes.
  2. Oxytocin, the bonding hormone, played a key biological role in cementing early marriages—reinforcing God’s design for sex and childbearing within lifelong unions.
  3. Marriage and divorce rates have drastically shifted in the past century, with today’s trends showing cultural decline and weakened family structures.
  4. The decline in testosterone and sperm counts mirrors a spiritual war on manhood and biblical family roles, affecting fertility and leadership.
  5. Repentance, spiritual awakening, and a return to biblical principles are essential to restoring marriage, family, and godly societal order.

 

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