Five Things We Will Learn
- Why Titus 3:10 commands believers to separate from divisive people after repeated warnings.
- How obedience to God’s Word protects the church from ongoing division and spiritual harm.
- Why digital connections, like social media, still count as disobedience when God says “have nothing to do with them.”
- How sentiment and misplaced loyalty can conflict with the call to protect the flock.
- What true restoration looks like and why it must follow genuine repentance.
When the Apostle Paul penned his letter to Titus, he wrote something that pierces through the fog of emotional entanglement and human reasoning with sobering clarity:
“Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.” — Titus 3:10 (NIV)
This is not a suggestion. It’s a command rooted in divine wisdom. And it’s one that confronts the heart of every believer who wants to walk in obedience to Jesus, especially when it costs us something relationally.
It Was Their Choice, Not Yours
Jesus gave a very similar framework when dealing with someone who refuses to listen to correction:
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you… If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” — Matthew 18:15–17
Just like Paul’s command to Titus, Jesus outlines a process involving multiple warnings and, if unheeded, a clear separation. It is not heartless—it is holy. Separation is the final step in the face of persistent refusal to repent.
The first truth we must reckon with is this: when you obey this instruction and separate from a divisive person after repeated warnings, you are not rejecting them—they have rejected correction.
Paul makes it clear that the responsibility lies with the individual who, after being lovingly and clearly warned twice, persists in their divisive behavior. Their refusal to repent is not your burden to carry. It’s their choice to continue sowing discord. Your role is to obey God and protect the flock.
“You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.” — Titus 3:11
Let that sink in. Paul says they are self-condemned. You didn’t judge them. You didn’t condemn them. You simply followed God’s instruction. They brought this upon themselves by their own willful actions.
The Pain of Obedience
Let’s be honest—it hurts. Choosing to obey God’s Word and have nothing to do with someone you once loved, ministered with, or cared about is not easy. It can feel like betrayal. It can feel like abandonment. It can feel wrong.
But it is not wrong. It is righteousness.
It is choosing the voice of your Shepherd over the pull of sentimental loyalty.
It is standing for truth over false peace.
It is choosing purity over confusion.
Jesus Himself warned us:
“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.” — Matthew 10:37
Obedience to Christ sometimes demands severing relational ties when those relationships become a doorway to division, sin, or rebellion against spiritual authority.
Social Media Isn’t Neutral—It’s a Voice in the Flock
Let’s be very clear: social media is not just a harmless website or app. It is a platform of influence—a voice. And when you stay connected to someone God’s appointed leadership has warned and removed, you are not just following a profile—you are giving continued place to their voice in your mind, your heart, and your home.
God said, “Have nothing to do with them.”
That includes the digital realm.
We don’t get to decide what “counts” and what doesn’t in this instruction. God’s Word doesn’t need to be edited for the internet age.
“A little leaven leavens the whole lump.” — Galatians 5:9
If God, through His leadership, for the safety of His flock, removed someone due to unrepentant divisiveness—and you stay connected—you are now carrying what God commanded to be cast out. You are walking in rebellion and subjecting yourself, your family, and your fellowship to spiritual conflict, anxiety, confusion, and division.
You Become Their Mouth in the Body
By holding onto a connection God severed, their voice keeps speaking—through you.
You may think you’re being kind. You’re not.
You may think you’re being neutral. You’re not.
You’re carrying a rejected spirit back into the camp. And worse—you’re broadcasting it.
Because what lives in your heart comes out of your mouth.
“The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” — Luke 6:45
Now, you have unintentionally become the mouthpiece of the very person your shepherd, under God’s authority, warned the church to separate from. The damage they caused now continues—through you.
You’re keeping alive a voice God silenced.
You’re preserving rebellion God removed.
You’re reintroducing poison God extracted.
The Spirit You Carry Is the Spirit You Spread
You don’t just carry someone’s “updates” when you stay connected online.
You carry their spirit. You carry their attitudes, their bitterness, their wounds, their offenses, their division. And without realizing it, you become the infected vessel through which they continue to harm the Body of Christ.
This is not love.
This is not mercy.
This is rebellion.
And it grieves the Holy Spirit.
You Are Hurting Jesus
“Whatever you did to the least of these My brothers, you did it to Me.” — Matthew 25:40
By refusing to cut off the one Jesus removed, you are not just dishonoring spiritual leadership—you are harming Jesus Himself. Like Saul on the road to Damascus, Jesus says: “Why are you persecuting Me?”
You’re not helping. You’re hurting.
You’re not protecting unity. You’re preserving division.
You’re not loving the church. You’re damaging the church.
And worst of all, you may not even know it.
If God says, “have nothing to do with them,” then:
- Disconnect every social tie.
- Delete every digital link.
- Mute every voice they have access to in your life.
- Cut the cord—physically, emotionally, digitally, spiritually.
This is not cruelty. This is covenant obedience.
You cannot protect the flock while keeping wolves on your friends list.
Choosing God Over Man
“A person who is comfortable at the table of your enemy is not your friend.” — Pastor John Kilpatrick
This is the true test: will you choose to obey God or will you follow man?
When others continue to maintain relationship with the one who was removed, whether out of confusion, fear, or misplaced compassion, it creates division in the church. It stirs up tension. It fosters hidden rebellion. And it keeps the door open for the enemy to operate.
This is not about being cruel or unloving. In fact, this is what love looks like when it is aligned with truth.
God’s love is holy.
God’s love protects.
God’s love removes what is dangerous to the body.
Following Jesus means doing what He says even when it goes against what you feel.
What About Restoration?
If the person repents? If they truly turn from their divisiveness and submit to correction? Then praise God—there is room for restoration.
But restoration without repentance is rebellion.
Paul doesn’t tell Titus to keep the door open just in case. He says to warn them once, then twice, and then be done. That’s not harsh—it’s wisdom. It’s clarity. It’s health for the Body of Christ.
Restoration is always the heart of God. But it must come on God’s terms, not ours. It must follow genuine repentance and fruit that proves it.
For the Sake of the Flock
If you’re a shepherd, a leader, or simply a believer who cares about God’s church, you cannot allow sentiment or past relationship to cloud your obedience.
- Obedience protects the flock.
- Obedience honors the authority of Scripture.
- Obedience pleases the Lord.
God’s sheep matter more than one person’s feelings.
One individual’s unrepentant rebellion cannot be allowed to infect the purity and unity of the house.
When You Feel the Weight
If you feel the weight of grief, that’s normal.
If you feel misunderstood by others who don’t see the whole picture, you’re in good company—Paul did too.
If you feel like you’re the only one holding the line while others remain in contact—hold fast. You’re not alone.
Jesus said, “If you love Me, you will obey what I command” (John 14:15).
This is one of those commands.
Final Thought: Choose Obedience
A Word to Aspiring Leaders
And this must be said plainly—especially to those who desire to be a pastor, a minister, a teacher, a prophet, or any kind of leader in the Lord’s Church:
If you do not have the courage to obey the Lord in this simple matter of “having nothing to do with them”—those who have refused to repent and continue bringing harm to others in the Body of Christ—then you are not yet qualified to lead God’s people.
Leadership requires courage. It requires loyalty to God above all else. It requires a fierce, protective love for His flock.
You will need to grow in your love for God and your willingness to obey Him over sentiment before you can be entrusted with His people.
“God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them.” — Hebrews 6:10
If God remembers those who love His people—imagine how clearly He remembers those who harm them. And yet some persist in keeping ties to those who continue to do just that.
Jesus was very clear:
“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in Me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” — Matthew 18:6
To lead in Christ’s name is to take on responsibility for the safety of His Bride. If you lack the courage to remove the harmful, or to stand against the divisive, or to obey even when it’s hard—you are not ready for that call.
You didn’t choose to sever the relationship.
They chose to continue in sin.
You chose to obey God.
That’s the difference.
And that obedience, no matter how hard, is the path of blessing, clarity, protection, and ultimately peace.
Choose obedience. Choose Jesus. Even when it hurts.