Five Things We Will Learn:
- Why Christine Caine was originally committed to singleness and what changed her heart.
- How healing often happens in stages across different life seasons—singleness, marriage, and parenting.
- The difference between expecting fulfillment from a spouse vs. finding it in God.
- How Kingdom purpose—not personal comfort—became the foundation of Christine and Nick’s marriage.
- Why fully surrendered lives can lead to extraordinary, God-ordained impact—together.
From Singleness to Surrender: How God Changed My Plans
You haven’t seen me write marriage books—and that’s intentional. I talk about so much more than marriage, and honestly, much of what I’ve read over the years just didn’t sit right with me. Let me be clear: Nick, my husband, is not my god—Jesus is. I’m not expecting from Nick what only God can give me, and he’s not expecting that from me either.
Our connection didn’t begin with fairy-tale expectations or cultural pressures. What brought us together was a mutual passion for fulfilling the mission of God. It wasn’t built on sentiment—it was built on surrender.
I Was Committed to Singleness
The truth? I never thought I’d get married. I was deeply committed to singleness. Looking back, I realize that commitment was rooted in self-protection. Opening myself to love would’ve required deeper healing from my past abuse and brokenness. Singleness allowed me to stay in a safe lane—at least emotionally.
But God, in His mercy, works in layers. When I was single, He walked me through certain levels of healing. Then came engagement, marriage, and eventually motherhood—each phase opened a new depth of healing.
Why We Avoid Relationships: A Truth We Don’t Always Admit
Sometimes we say we don’t want to be with someone, but the truth is more painful—we don’t want anyone close enough to touch the parts of us we haven’t dealt with. But in marriage, you can’t hide. Not at that level. You can’t cover your past with busyness or ministry when someone sees you up close every day.
I also didn’t have many role models. I wasn’t seeing women in ministry doing what I was doing—and also married with children. It didn’t even seem like a possibility.
Then Nick came along—and ruined all my plans.
A Call to Something Greater
It wasn’t enough for me to love him or be attracted to him—though I was, completely. I needed to know this was God’s plan. The Lord had to speak to my heart and show me clearly: I would do more for His Kingdom married than I ever could single. Without that clarity, I wouldn’t have even been open to dating.
But with that confirmation came the courage to say yes—and I’ve never looked back.
I believe with all my heart we’ve had ten times the impact together than I ever would have had alone.
Running Toward Jesus—Together
Our lives were already unusual, out-of-the-box, and that’s why this works. We never wanted normal. We were already running full speed toward Jesus before we met—Nick in his lane, me in mine. And when our paths crossed, we just kept running. Together.
We didn’t let little things become issues. We stayed about the Father’s business. And three decades later, with two daughters and thousands of ministry miles between us, we’re still running.
God has exceeded anything I could’ve imagined. Way exceeded it.
My Husband, My Best Friend
I can say this with full integrity: Nick is my best friend. He’s the man I respect more than anyone on this earth. He is unbelievable. After 30 years, I can tell you—he is the most godly man I know. In terms of the fruit of the Spirit, he’s the most secure man I’ve ever met.
I’ve never seen a moment of insecurity or comparison in him—not even a flinch.
In all these years, we’ve never had a conversation about who’s speaking or who’s doing what. Not once. Not a mention. It’s always been about what will most advance the Kingdom of God. On purpose. For purpose. To fulfill His purpose.