Five Things We Will Learn
- Why making disciples is about introducing people to Jesus—not winning personal friends.
- How John the Baptist modeled being a true friend of the Bridegroom (John 3:29).
- The danger of standing between Jesus and His bride by keeping new believers to ourselves.
- Why it’s vital to connect new believers into the full family of God, not just personal relationships.
- How Scripture points to the ultimate wedding banquet of the Lamb as the goal of discipleship.
“Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Jesus
It is so exciting when the Lord allows us and works with us to make disciples for Him (Matthew 28:19–20; 1 Corinthians 3:6–7). There is nothing more purposeful and fulfilling than this. There is also nothing more bonding than to see someone born again through the very moment the Lord used us to win them to Himself (John 3:3; 1 Thessalonians 2:19–20). We can feel them instantly bonded to our hearts, but it’s important to realize that is a family bond, not a “personal friend bond.”
It is tempting, however, to feel that we “got a friend,” “made a friend,” or that we are “winning friends” for ourselves. We may start spending time with them, talking with them, and sharing life with them—but it was never about us having or winning friends. It was always about winning friends for our Bridegroom, Jesus (John 3:29).
“…The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice…” John 3:29
We must guard ourselves from placing ourselves between Jesus and His bride in order to fulfill a personal desire for friendship. This is eye opening revelation is shared in the Dynamics of Shepherd and Sheep Shepherding You on Your Journey of Transformation – Part 7
Yes, we’ll have family once they are born again (John 1:12–13), but those friends belong to Him. Yes, we’ll be friendly (Proverbs 18:24), but we are family—which is a deeper dynamic (Ephesians 2:19–22). This reminds us that we should connect and engage newly born-again believers into their family in Christ, to be friends of the Bridegroom, not simply “our friends.”
It is Jesus’ body—every part, not just your part alone—that supplies what they need to thrive and survive. Keeping them away from the body, from the family, and keeping them to yourself will harm them, cutting off what they need to thrive and survive, and in the end could be the very thing that causes them to stumble or fall away (Hebrews 10:24–25; Romans 14:13; Matthew 18:6). As Scripture says, ‘The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you”’ (1 Corinthians 12:21). Instead, ‘Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it’ (1 Corinthians 12:27).
You are not taking ‘long walks’ with ‘Jesus’ friend.’ You are spending long hours with them as part of Jesus’ family—within the family (Romans 12:5). They are not there to meet your needs. They are Jesus’ disciples, not yours (John 8:31). Jesus Himself warned of this weakness from the beginning when He said, “You make them disciples of yourselves and twice as much a son of hell as you are” (Matthew 23:15). Jesus takes this very seriously.
When you bring a newly born-again believer into the family of God—the body of Christ into which they were born (1 Corinthians 12:12–13)—you’ll have much more than a friend, you’ll have family. Everything in you should be directed toward helping the new believer find their place in a healthy church family, preferably the one you are part of, since the Lord clearly used you as the bridge to draw them. Bring them into the apostles’ teaching, into fellowship, into sharing meals, and into learning to love and be loved in the family of God (Acts 2:42–47).
What better way to introduce them than with His very own words—The Commands of Jesus series—so that from day one they begin to understand who Jesus is, who they are to Him, their purpose in life, and the joy they’ll experience in their place in His family as they follow and obey His commands
And remember—it is His wedding banquet we are inviting them to, not ours (Matthew 22:2, 9; Revelation 19:7–9).
The Wedding Banquet of the Lamb
“The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son” (Matthew 22:2, NIV). We are inviting people to the wedding feast of the Son—Jesus—not to ourselves.
“So go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find” (Matthew 22:9, NIV). The invitation is extended broadly, but always for Him.
“Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear. … Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” (Revelation 19:7–9, NIV).
Let’s fill Jesus’ wedding banquet with friends of His, our Bridegroom.