Five Things We Will Learn
- How God establishes order across relationships including marriage, family, work, and government
- What Scripture teaches about submission and headship in marriage
- How the structure of marriage reflects Christ and the church
- Why God’s design for family order is consistent throughout the New Testament
- How living according to God’s order impacts our witness to the world
Living as Children of Light
The New Testament presents a consistent picture of how God establishes order in different relationships — government, work, family, and marriage. This order is not based on human preference but reflects the way God has structured authority on earth.
In Ephesians 5:1-20, Paul instructs believers to walk in love, avoid sexual immorality, greed, and coarse talk, live as children of light, be filled with the Spirit, and give thanks to God. Then in verse 21 he says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” However, the verses that immediately follow show that this does not mean reversing God-given roles.
The Order in Marriage – Ephesians 5
Paul gives the clearest picture of marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33. Wives are told to submit to their own husbands as they do to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Husbands are commanded to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
This is not a suggestion. Paul weaves the picture of Christ and the church directly into marriage, showing that the structure of marriage reflects a greater spiritual reality.
The Same Order in the Household – Ephesians 6
“Everything that has more than one head is a monster.”
Paul continues the same pattern in Ephesians 6. Children are to obey their parents. Slaves (or employees) are to obey their earthly masters. In each case, the direction of submission is clear and one-way.
If parents submitted to their children, it would destroy the children. If bosses submitted to their employees, it would destroy the company. If a husband submitted to his wife, it would destroy the marriage. If government submitted to the people instead of the people submitting to government, it would destroy the nation. The order God establishes matters.
The Pattern Continues – Colossians and Titus
This same teaching appears in other letters. Colossians 3:18-19 says simply: “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
Titus 2:4-5 instructs older women to train younger women “to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” The expectation is consistent across Paul’s writings.
Headship and Order – 1 Corinthians 11
Paul states the principle plainly in 1 Corinthians 11:3: “The head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” This establishes a clear order of headship that aligns with what he teaches about marriage.
Peter’s Teaching – 1 Peter 2 and 3
Peter uses almost identical language. In 1 Peter 2 he calls believers to submit to governing authorities and for servants to submit to their masters — even harsh ones. Then in 1 Peter 3:1 he writes, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands…”
Peter explains that a wife’s true beauty does not come from outward adornment, but from a gentle and quiet spirit. He points to Sarah and the holy women of old who submitted to their husbands and put their hope in God. A wife who honors her husband’s leadership and does not resist him becomes truly attractive to her husband in the way God designed. On the other hand, when a wife constantly rebels against and resists her husband’s leadership, her beauty fades in that context — no matter how she may look outwardly.
Peter also addresses husbands, telling them to live with their wives in an understanding way and treat them with respect, so their prayers will not be hindered.
Marriage Is a Serious Choice
While the New Testament presents marriage with this clear structure, it also speaks strongly in 1 Corinthians 7 about the advantages of remaining unmarried. Paul repeatedly advises that staying unmarried allows a person to serve the Lord with undivided devotion. Jesus Himself never married, and several key figures in Scripture, including Paul, lived unmarried.
Marriage is not commanded. But if a man or woman chooses to marry, the New Testament is clear about the order God expects them to follow — an order that mirrors Christ and the church.
Related:
How the World Sees This
The world views authority in marriage and family very differently than God does (Ephesians 5:22-33; 1 Peter 3:1-7). What Scripture teaches is completely contrary to modern culture (Romans 12:2). Those who follow the Lord must be willing to live differently. We are called-out ones, set apart as disciples of Christ (1 Peter 2:9).
Our marriages and families are not private matters. When we live according to God’s order, we honor the Lord and cause outsiders to see something beautiful and different (1 Peter 2:12; 1 Peter 3:1-2). But when we ignore or reverse this pattern, we give the world reason to speak evil of the gospel. As Titus 2:5 warns, our conduct can cause “the word of God to be maligned.” When believers live like the world in their relationships, marriages, families, and homes, the name of the Lord and His church are blasphemed among non-believers (Titus 2:5; Romans 2:24).
This is not a call to force the world to live like us. The expectation is simple: obey the Lord, walk in His order, and trust that He will reward those who honor Him — regardless of what the culture around us chooses to do.
Related:
- Why Are Women So Unhappy Since They Got Everything They Asked For?
- Marriage, Remarriage, and Living in Adultery | Truth Has Consequences — What Jesus Says About Covenant, Sin, and Eternity
- Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage: What the Bible Actually Says | Why God’s design for covenant still stands, even as culture redefines it
- Getting Married Is Not Your Safeguard | Marriage cannot compete with a world designed to capture your heart if you refuse to leave it
- God’s Call to the Same-Sex Couple Who Come to Christ | Grace That Welcomes Fully, Truth That Transforms Completely
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