Five Things We Will Learn
- Why the Bible defines marriage by covenant, not sexual consummation
- How the mohar (bride price) reveals God’s original design for marriage
- Why Jesus calls remarriage adultery based on covenant, not relationship status
- How Christ fulfilled the Bride Price and is preparing a wedding banquet for His Bride, the Church
- Why understanding this truth brings both accountability and the call to repentance
A Wake-Up Call for Marriage, Family, and Sexuality
Marriage, family, and sexuality are crumbling before our very eyes, yet we continue to walk off the cliff without stopping to ask if God has another way that we are missing.
“If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left,
but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.” Hebrews 10:26–27 (NIV):
Singleness Is Better
The Apostle Paul opens with a statement that challenges modern assumptions:
“It is good for a man not to marry” (1 Corinthians 7:1).
Singleness is not a lesser path. It is a calling that allows for focused devotion to God without the divided responsibilities that come with marriage.
Marriage Was Presented as a Solution for Sexual Temptation
Because sexual immorality was widespread in Corinth, Paul wrote that each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. Marriage served as a practical guard for purity.
Marriage Is No Longer a Simple Solution for Sexual Purity Today
In today’s culture, temptation is constant and accessible. Pornography, social media, and digital relationships create a level of exposure the early church never faced.
Marriage alone does not eliminate temptation. Purity requires intentional commitment, discipline, and dependence on God.
Marriage Is a Concession, Not a Command
Paul does not command marriage. He explains that if someone cannot control their desires, it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Marriage is presented as a concession, not a universal requirement. Both singleness and marriage are valid, but they come with different responsibilities.
Related:
- Marriage, Remarriage, and Living in Adultery | Truth Has Consequences — What Jesus Says About Covenant, Sin, and Eternity
- Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage: What the Bible Actually Says | Why God’s design for covenant still stands, even as culture redefines it
- Getting Married Is Not Your Safeguard | Marriage cannot compete with a world designed to capture your heart if you refuse to leave it
- Crisis: The State of Our Young People 29 and Younger | They Are Not Lost Causes: Our Young People Are Precious, Valuable, Loved by God, and Desperately Need Us to Reach Them
- Marriage: For God’s Sake and for the Sake of the Children (Part 1) The Idol of Marriage: Why God’s Design Matters Before or If You Say “I Do”
- Marriage: For God Sake and for the Children’s Sake (Part 2)Mohar: The Price, the Covenant, and God’s Design for Marriage
- God’s Call to the Same-Sex Couple Who Come to Christ | Grace That Welcomes Fully, Truth That Transforms Completely
Married Couples Must Not Deprive Each Other
Paul instructs married couples clearly:
“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Marriage carries mutual responsibility, protection, and care.
Divorce, Remarriage, and Covenant
Divorce and Remarriage Between Believers
Paul gives direct instruction:
“A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:10–11).
Marriage is a covenant God takes seriously.
When an Unbeliever Leaves
Scripture also addresses mixed-faith marriages:
“If the unbeliever leaves, let it be so… God has called us to live in peace” (1 Corinthians 7:15).
In these cases, peace becomes the guiding principle.
The Only Clear Freedom to Remarry
Scripture gives a clear allowance for remarriage when a spouse dies:
“A married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him” (Romans 7:2–3).
This reinforces the lifelong nature of marriage.
Jesus’ Standard on Remarriage
Jesus teaches that divorcing and remarrying while a spouse is still alive results in adultery. This raises the standard beyond cultural norms and brings it back to God’s original design.
Marriage Is Established by Covenant, Not Consummation
In the Bible, when a bridegroom, or his father, paid the mohar, the bride price, a binding covenant and contract of marriage was established between the two families (Genesis 34:12; Exodus 22:16–17; 1 Samuel 18:25). This was not symbolic. It was not partial. It was not an “engagement” as we think of it today. It was a legally and spiritually binding marriage.
Once the mohar was paid and the covenant was made between the families, the couple was considered married, even though they had not yet come together sexually and had not yet begun living together (Deuteronomy 22:23–24).
Because the covenant had already been established, the bride was bound to the groom. If she was unfaithful during this waiting period, it was not considered immorality or a mistake, it was considered adultery, just as if she were already living with him as his wife (Deuteronomy 22:23–24).
This is why Mary was considered married to Joseph before they came together (Matthew 1:18–19). The covenant had already been established, even though the marriage had not yet been physically consummated.
This shows clearly that in God’s eyes, the covenant establishes the marriage, not the sexual act, not the living arrangement, and not the public ceremony as we understand it today.
Jesus affirms this same standard when He says that whoever divorces and marries another commits adultery (Matthew 5:32; Luke 16:18). He is not redefining marriage. He is pointing back to what has always been true: once a covenant is established, that person is bound (Romans 7:2–3; 1 Corinthians 7:39).
He is not only pointing back, He is also pointing forward, for He Himself paid the mohar, the Bride Price, for His own Bride, the Church with His own life, laying down His life for her (John 10:11, 15, 17–18; Acts 20:28; 1 Corinthians 6:20; Ephesians 5:25–27; Revelation 5:9), and His Father, God, is preparing a wedding banquet for His bride in heaven (Matthew 22:2–14; Matthew 25:1–13; Revelation 19:7–9). Not only have things not changed, but Jesus Himself has stayed faithful to His bride, the Church, paid the Bride Price, and is preparing a wedding banquet to celebrate His wedding. He was not just speaking of our marriage for marriage’s sake, He was speaking of God’s view from day one, and into eternity.
Therefore, according to Scripture, even if someone enters into what they call a marriage and remains completely abstinent, having no sexual relationship of any kind, if that covenant is made while their original spouse is still alive, it is still considered adultery in the eyes of Jesus (Mark 10:11–12).
Nothing has changed since the beginning. The marriage covenant is what matters. Once that covenant is made, God considers that person bound until death or the biblical exception applies (Romans 7:2–3).
Grace, Knowledge, and Responsibility
Pre-Conversion Marriages and Divorces
“For anyone in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Many understand that past marriages before coming to Christ belong to a person’s former life.
Accountability According to Knowledge
Jesus teaches:
“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded” (Luke 12:48).
God shows mercy in ignorance, but truth brings responsibility.
A Difficult Reality for New Believers
When someone unknowingly enters a marriage that later proves to be outside biblical design, the response is not condemnation, but truth with grace.
Confession, forgiveness, and seeking God’s direction become essential.
But now that they understand, they are held accountable as any believer and are expected to repent from their sin, and not to go on living in adultery.
Someone may say, “This is messy.” This is why Jesus says, “seek first the Kingdom of God” and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33).
If you follow Jesus’ instruction before taking such a significant step into marriage, you will know what is and is not sin, and be able to clearly decide if it is right or wrong, if it would place you in the sin of adultery, continuing in sin as Hebrews warns, or if you need to take the difficult step of repentance.
When things are made right with God, those in the world, those living in sin, and even Christians continuing in sin may see you making difficult decisions to leave any adulterous living situation as messy or crazy. But what Jesus sees is something entirely different. He sees the acknowledgement of your sin, repentance from sin, and a life being brought back into right standing with God the Father. Remember one can still love and care for others whom they once lived in adultery with, as we are called to care for all people, without continuing to live in adultery with them.
When the First Spouse Dies
If the original spouse dies, the bond is broken. The current marriage is no longer considered adulterous and becomes legitimate before God.
Undivided Devotion to Christ
Paul explains that the unmarried person can be fully devoted to the Lord, while the married person must divide attention between spiritual and relational responsibilities.
He concludes that the one who does not marry “does even better,” highlighting the value of undistracted devotion.
A Strong Warning for Today
Marriage is not a casual decision. It is a covenant before God.
“Till death do us part” is not simply a phrase. It reflects the reality of what Jesus expects from those who enter into marriage.
If marriage is approached lightly or as a solution to temptation alone, it will not produce what God intended.
Paul’s Counsel to Widows
A widow is free to remarry, but Paul adds:
“In my judgment she is happier if she stays as she is” (1 Corinthians 7:40).
Again, the emphasis remains on not marrying, devotion and calling.
Conclusion
This is written from a biblical perspective, using the words of Jesus, and God’s apostle Paul, not my own opinions or cultural norms. I am not writing this as someone who is against marriage. I am writing this to help us all be for marriage, for life, or at least until death do us part.
I am writing this to help those who are considering marriage as Christians, those who are married, and those who are separated or divorced. The Lord has clear and unwavering truth on this. It is only culture, even Christian culture, that has blurred the lines.
I am writing this to awaken us to the reality that what has been accepted as “normal” must be weighed not by polling religious leaders, but by the Bible itself. For it is before God, and Him alone, that each of us will stand individually accountable for our lives.
If we truly desire to follow Jesus and be saved, then how we understand marriage, enter into it, and remain faithful within it matters deeply. Marriage is not just for our sake, but for God’s sake and for the sake of the children. It is a covenant He expects us to honor.
Begin Your Journey Today
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Step into the life He designed for you through Emmaus Road’s The Commands of Jesus. This is more than learning—it’s an invitation to walk with Him, obey Him, and experience Him in a real and powerful way.
You don’t want to miss this exciting adventure Jesus has called you into.
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Revised 04.28.26